
Trust is a big word. It takes a while for any of us to say "I trust you". And what to do if somebody has destroyed your beautiful garden of trust? What if you can't possibly trust anybody who can even hardly remind you on that person or....maybe you've lost your believe in people in general?..Fine let's go back to the beginning.
Draw the picture:
this is the one you love, who did something you could not imagine this person would ever do to you. You feel hurt. And it is absolutely does not matter if one cheated on you or just lied about something or mistreated - you have lost your believe in this person. As Mark Darcy ("Pride and Prejudice") said:" ...but my good opinion once lost, lost forever". Let's say it was so... So this person lost your trust. Maybe it was your passionate lover, maybe your best friend... it does not matter.
Ok, and now imagine it is a while ago. You just met a person who seems to be very nice. It is a nice evening: you are drinking wine, discussing the film you just watched, listening to some jazz band playing here in this small Spanish bar. You feel good. The person says it is some nice party his/her friends hosting tonight, asks you if you want to come - you say no. Some other time you meet him/her in the coffee shop and the person asks you how are you doing and you say you have some complications doing some project. He/She tells you: "Oh,I had those difficulties too. May I help you?". You're smiling, your eyes are a little bit sad, something you might forgot just passed by in your own thoughts. "No, thank you. I think I'll deal with that" - would be your answer.
Well, I guess the situation is already clear. When you are losing your trust it would be very hard for you to trust other people, even in small things. I know our world is big and dangerous, everybody are living in some virtual reality and if they are not, they trying to close themself as a locket with a secret inside, and are scared to even mention that locket exists.
Guys, this is wrong. There are to many bad people, who will be happy to know you are sad and lonely, don't really want to see anybody. Do not make this people happy! I know how hard this cold be to trust a man, when you your ex-boyfriend mistreated you. And I also can imagine how hard it is to believe this woman would not ever cheat on you, when your ex did. This would be a long process to recover and rebuild your trust, but it worth it to start doing that.
Start with some little things. For example, a young men want to buy you a cocktail. Don't think right away: "He wants to get me drunk"! Maybe, he does not. Anyway, try to calm down and do not make any conclusions, just note that as some nice thing done from his turn. Well, if however you still feel yourself uncomfortable thinking he is bad bad boy, smile, say: "It is very nice of you" and order non-alcoholic drink. He wants to pay anyway, so what's the matter? If he insists... this is the other question.
Another thing, and I believe this is important one, is not to be afraid of telling other people about your fears and feelings. It would be easier for other person to understand your actions and reactions. Remember that sometimes we just have a different logic: what's logical for me, can be rubbish for you.
You will see how easier it would be to trust one in big things, when you already trust one in small. Notice that I don't tell you to trust every single person and looking for explanations for every bad things people do. Be sensible. Just, if you like somebody, if you think this person might be good for you, but you have suspicions or doubts, try to be objective! Give others a chance!
Believe in yourself first and than let yourself meet new people, go out and...find new friends or even new love. I wish you luck!
Sincerely yours,
Lady Svetlana.








